Sunday, December 31, 2006

Someone's advice on how to get ahead at work...

Someone posted this on how to get ahead at work:

Show up before everyone.
Dress nicer and look more awake than anyone else
Do not have a bunch of personal crap in your work area
Do not try to be different in dress or style
Do not have a tattoo showing
Do not pierce anything but each ear once (female)
Do not ever discuss religion, sex, politics, or the boss with anyone
Do not look for friends at work… you work for money. Period.
Do not smoke at or near work
Be working when they are talking
Take short lunches and zero breaks
Stay late and leave last
Never call in sick
Never be late
Do not use vacation for one year straight.
Keep your car clean and not full of garbage. Yes it matters
Keep a daily log as to what you do
Do whatever the boss tells you to. Everything is your job. Coffee maker, sweeper, no questions asked. But log what you do.
If your boss is wrong and wants you to do it wrong, do it wrong. Then log it.
If co-workers begin crapping on you for your efforts, write it in the log but do not tell anyone.
Do not ask for a raise. ever. When you want more money you will find it elsewhere and then you will give your current employer a chance to match it. No raise, then give 2 week notice and go to the other place. At the new place use the exact same formula.

If you follow this guide I gaurentee[SIC] you will either move ahead where you work, or gain so much great work-ethic and work-experience that you will go find what you want.

You’re welcome.

Robots don’t make happy workers. A lot of places are now allowing Dogs to accompany workers at work, one larger company that comes to mind is Google. Companies are becoming more aware and placing more importance on the well being of employees creating a sustainable workplace.

I do agree the advice helps impress pointy-hair bosses (PHBs) who are automaton know nothing drones in corporate culture, but it was folks like Wozniak, Allen, John Draper, that gave rise to new technologies, wacky wonky scientists doing what they loved how they loved doing it.

This sounds like advice for people who really have nothing to offer and have to do everything in their power to appear as if they do.

Working hard != working smart, and billions of competitors to the USA, Japan and EU prove that despite a superior apparent work ethic, the goods delivered are mostly shoddy, second rate and rarely world class. It is the summation of mediocrity and folks mastering the advice above.

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